i'm so fucking fucked up
paranoid like ass

one second i'm thinking bout this then the next second i'm laughing then back to freaking out like
some shit and i'm not doing anything bout no nuthing i ain't doing anything.
need to get down to business, but its like i can't even explain.

was watching prison break just now, and i'm like yknw if i were them i wonder how i'll take it, its like what's my life compared to that, i'll just become a rapper and not give a shit bout anything alrdy man, what' life when you get your freedom ripped away from you when you did no wrong at all, talk bout getting respect, talk bout stuff like that when for real its happening out there. i shldn't be here rattling bout this.

when i 'm alone for awhile i start thinking bout stuff, mama says i think too much. when i told her what i was worrying bout, turns out she says it ain't all that tough as you think. i think i won't believe it until i feel it. so just now was feeling so scared, so scared i'll end up in some shit school.

then i'll be like i don't give a shit no more, afterwhich you realise, you hafta give a shit, and that's when you realise how fucking screwed you are, and that's like 2 seconds before you're officially screwed, then you realise this thang goes on and on and on. like what man, since when have i become like that.

hate to deal with shit that wasn't caused by me but its my shit now cus i'm in it. like i'll be thinking whetha i was in the wrong but actually i was taking all the shit that's she's been giving me. i meanlike you get what you give. if you don't realise that then it ain't my problem but now its my fking problem. i think i'm so tired of this already, that's why i'm feeling this way.
but now i guess my heart feels better. i thought i had no part in this but now maybe i was wrong, i guess i did contribute, but the main issue ain't from me, so its like just what human nature reacts, makin me feel like a twofaced bitch hate that.
now i'm just ready for the drama i guess, i want it to work out, like go back to those days, which i can't even rmb how they were like. really, and that's just sad.
i'm sad now.

i think i'll like effing cry
next week for two days in a row
esp farewell, you won't see my eyes

eminem rocks the shit out of me. he's got crazy talent.
i think i needa be more real, if i'm real around you means i'm your friend.
and sometimes i wonder if you're talking to me cus you just want to, sometimes i feel whether all this we have is true or fake, i mean i'm real, but i dknw cus you have so many friends, i dknw whetha i'm just that friend or like a friend, that you need.

needa take some time to figure out all this first
before i do math
i need some lovin man, pls shower me all your love. haha
okay you see i'm done pouring out shits.
back to my normal post.

had a nice bath just now,
listened to adam sing pop goes the camera and what's love gotta do with it. opened new bodyshop shower gel today, I NEED MY THERAPY SESSION. bathing time's my relaxing time. so it rocked the hell outta me. prison break 's just the bomb(: and i can't wait for next wk. wonder how did i wait for week aft week of prison break. love channel five for showing pb 3 times in a wk now!
and i 'm spending like money drop down from the sky. i'm broke as hell,but my dad's the best. he feels me. think he's in a good mood too. he was so funnaye. i dknw how to say it here cus he said it in chinese and hokkien. watched the seven o clock channel 8 hongkong show with him and my bro, i love that show. since when he watch the 7pm show can, so was like some bonding going on there through out all the shits in my life. family's the best, that's why i always feel like going home. cus at home usually i don't face shit, i feel safe and protected and happy and sad for the right things and all. and i feel so blessed in that house i don't wna step out cus its like bam, back to reality and shit, come home then bam the good life with tv and ice cream and all that. i keep getting the 'bam!' effect. haha. so its like i just gotta stay sane. keeping it real. today i learnt that pple who cry when they laugh 's cus they relax too much, that they tear. so i guess my crying when i laugh thing keeps me sane and healthy and not go depressed and shit. fuck my ear hole, its so small, the other one effing closed and i needa go pierce and go through all the shit again, i almost fainted kay, wth. haha. and i have one hole now, looking like some gayshit. really. when i put a stud in it. but who gives a fk right, i can just love myself and you can diss me for all i care. like that ass who came to our class and told us to shut up cus she can hear us from her fucking class room, can't belieeve she said that, i was eating my bread and looking at her thinking like oh no you didn't just say that man. for moment was like girl you wna fuck with us bring it on, obv we'll win, you so didn not see who you were messing with. but it was a small issue, just wna diss her hahahha.

life's not hard, its just fu-cked up, for now.

i'm so fucking fucked up
paranoid like ass

one second i'm thinking bout this then the next second i'm laughing then back to freaking out like
some shit and i'm not doing anything bout no nuthing i ain't doing anything.
need to get down to business, but its like i can't even explain.

was watching prison break just now, and i'm like yknw if i were them i wonder how i'll take it, its like what's my life compared to that, i'll just become a rapper and not give a shit bout anything alrdy man, what' life when you get your freedom ripped away from you when you did no wrong at all, talk bout getting respect, talk bout stuff like that when for real its happening out there. i shldn't be here rattling bout this.

when i 'm alone for awhile i start thinking bout stuff, mama says i think too much. when i told her what i was worrying bout, turns out she says it ain't all that tough as you think. i think i won't believe it until i feel it. so just now was feeling so scared, so scared i'll end up in some shit school.

then i'll be like i don't give a shit no more, afterwhich you realise, you hafta give a shit, and that's when you realise how fucking screwed you are, and that's like 2 seconds before you're officially screwed, then you realise this thang goes on and on and on. like what man, since when have i become like that.

hate to deal with shit that wasn't caused by me but its my shit now cus i'm in it. like i'll be thinking whetha i was in the wrong but actually i was taking all the shit that's she's been giving me. i meanlike you get what you give. if you don't realise that then it ain't my problem but now its my fking problem. i think i'm so tired of this already, that's why i'm feeling this way.
but now i guess my heart feels better. i thought i had no part in this but now maybe i was wrong, i guess i did contribute, but the main issue ain't from me, so its like just what human nature reacts, makin me feel like a twofaced bitch hate that.
now i'm just ready for the drama i guess, i want it to work out, like go back to those days, which i can't even rmb how they were like. really, and that's just sad.
i'm sad now.

i think i'll like effing cry
next week for two days in a row
esp farewell, you won't see my eyes

eminem rocks the shit out of me. he's got crazy talent.
i think i needa be more real, if i'm real around you means i'm your friend.
and sometimes i wonder if you're talking to me cus you just want to, sometimes i feel whether all this we have is true or fake, i mean i'm real, but i dknw cus you have so many friends, i dknw whetha i'm just that friend or like a friend, that you need.

needa take some time to figure out all this first
before i do math
i need some lovin man, pls shower me all your love. haha
okay you see i'm done pouring out shits.
back to my normal post.

had a nice bath just now,
listened to adam sing pop goes the camera and what's love gotta do with it. opened new bodyshop shower gel today, I NEED MY THERAPY SESSION. bathing time's my relaxing time. so it rocked the hell outta me. prison break 's just the bomb(: and i can't wait for next wk. wonder how did i wait for week aft week of prison break. love channel five for showing pb 3 times in a wk now!
and i 'm spending like money drop down from the sky. i'm broke as hell,but my dad's the best. he feels me. think he's in a good mood too. he was so funnaye. i dknw how to say it here cus he said it in chinese and hokkien. watched the seven o clock channel 8 hongkong show with him and my bro, i love that show. since when he watch the 7pm show can, so was like some bonding going on there through out all the shits in my life. family's the best, that's why i always feel like going home. cus at home usually i don't face shit, i feel safe and protected and happy and sad for the right things and all. and i feel so blessed in that house i don't wna step out cus its like bam, back to reality and shit, come home then bam the good life with tv and ice cream and all that. i keep getting the 'bam!' effect. haha. so its like i just gotta stay sane. keeping it real. today i learnt that pple who cry when they laugh 's cus they relax too much, that they tear. so i guess my crying when i laugh thing keeps me sane and healthy and not go depressed and shit. fuck my ear hole, its so small, the other one effing closed and i needa go pierce and go through all the shit again, i almost fainted kay, wth. haha. and i have one hole now, looking like some gayshit. really. when i put a stud in it. but who gives a fk right, i can just love myself and you can diss me for all i care. like that ass who came to our class and told us to shut up cus she can hear us from her fucking class room, can't belieeve she said that, i was eating my bread and looking at her thinking like oh no you didn't just say that man. for moment was like girl you wna fuck with us bring it on, obv we'll win, you so didn not see who you were messing with. but it was a small issue, just wna diss her hahahha.

life's not hard, its just fu-cked up, for now.